Little Elvis Fights the "Man"

Yesterday was one of those rare days when I knew exactly my topic when I sat down to compose this morning’s rant. I had it all written in my head, and it was going to take no time at all to prepare my text.
The plan was to watch PTI and the evening news before rushing to get my thoughts down before Game 3 of the NBA Finals. (Beat L.A.!) Like a typical day, the news portion of the broadcast was winding down at three minutes past the hour. It was time to switch to Cops reruns when one final story caught my eye:

So this jackass in Lincoln County doesn’t believe in the constitutionality of a driver’s permit. Elvis “Jake” Hanes says that one is only needed if “you’re going to engage in commercialized activity according to the motor vehicle act”. Um, ok.
It gets better, as every one of Hanes’ quotes is a goldmine. "I wasn't engaged in an activity that was deemed ‘regulateable’, I didn't consent to the officer pulling me over and I don't like accepting services at the barrel of a gun," said Hanes.
Although he was in court yesterday to plead not guilty, he told KELO that he wasn’t going to hire a lawyer. Well, he inferred that even if he wanted to, no lawyer would take his case. "I think there isn't an attorney in his right mind that would represent me, because it goes so much against the status quo, the BAR association is nothing more than a brotherhood of lawyers and you don't go against your frat brothers," said Hanes. (Didn’t I tell you this guy’s a goldmine?)
It wasn’t just the statements alone that conjured up laughter and disbelief; it was the belligerent cockiness in his tone. Surely, this guy didn’t just come out of nowhere, and how did KELO know to come cover a simple traffic ticket in Lincoln County?
Google is an amazing tool, and within seconds I found quite a bit of info about little Elvis (including his address, phone number, and email address). Sure enough, this guy was one of the main players in 2006’s Amendment E fiasco. In fact, to interview Jail4Judges leader Bill Stegmeier, one was instructed to email Elvis to set it up.
Although Amendment E failed miserably (90% - 10%, in case you don’t recall), little Elvis is still involved in politics. As you may expect from somebody who doesn’t believe in the constitutionality of driver’s licenses, he’s one of those wacky Ron Paul supporters. Trust me, I have yet to meet a Ron Paul fan who is not at least a little nutty. He’s also one of the South Dakota representatives of a lawsuit that was filed last year in New York District Court that alleges that machines cannot be used at any point of the voting process. We’re not just talking about the controversial paper-less electronic voting machines that I believe should never be used; this lawsuit wants to outlaw any machines used in the voting process. Ballots are to be stored in public view; are to be hand-counted. Any use of machines is in their eyes a sham election. Welcome to 1808!
Come on, Elvis. It’s clear you’re a smart guy. It’s also clear to me that you’re the one who contacted KELO to give your one-man fight against “plastic cards” a little publicity. Just pay the fine and take a driver’s test.


Tim said…
The bit about the motor vehicle act only requiring a license if you "engage in commercialized activity" is hilarious. The law actually says: "No person ... may drive any motor vehicle upon a highway in this state unless the person has a valid driver license."

Of course, what the facts and law actually are has never bothered Jake before.
Tina said…
The only intelligent/correct statement from Little Elvis: "I think there isn't an attorney in his right mind that would represent me."

Damn lawyers and our desire to represent people that actually have a case!!
Anonymous said…
"...he’s one of those wacky Ron Paul supporters. Trust me, I have yet to meet a Ron Paul fan who is not at least a little nutty."

Response: Let's see...Ron Paul is in favor of securing the border, putting an end to deficit spending and getting us out of a 5 year war that pushed our national debt up to $10 trillion. Not to mention his willingness to question trade agreements that shipped countless jobs to other countries. And you think his supporters are nutty? Who cares about the guy that doesn't believe in driver licenses. Try to explain why Ron Paul is wrong if you're looking for a blog rant challenge. Doubt you could.

Anonymous said…
And by the way…
Why would Hudson type a rant that ridicules a man with psychological problems. I’m trying to understand the depth of callousness for the sophomoric sarcasm that degrades someone that doesn’t even understand the reason for a mandatory driver’s license requirement. What next - a rant about people in wheel chairs?
Must be Ron Paul brain washing people.

Anonymous said…
And by the way again...
last week the Supreme Court supported the return to paper ballots, which forced 28 states to re-create a voting paper trail. Good move on the part of the Court, IN LIGHT OF ALL THE ELECTION CORRUPTION THAT REQUIRED A PAPER TRAIL AS EVIDENCE. But there are bloggers that are "clueless" about election corruption in America, and their generation that places blind faith in computers without question. Idiots. CNN accused a town mayor of corruption, because they weren't given election results minutes after the poles closed. Do you really need your election results that fast? Just to support CNN ratings? Screw the corporate whores, I'd rather have varifiable results, and I won't wet my pants if I have to wait awhile for the truthful results. You people are brats.

Scott said…
Kurt, did I ever say there should be NO paper trail? Please point out where I did. I'm actually against the electronic-only systems that some have attempted to foist on the public.

The lawsuit this clown was involved with would take away all machinery, including those that count the ballots.
Anonymous said…
Elvis was my room mate in the mid to late 90's in St. Paul, Minnesota, Im now embarassed to say. Til he stole $1400 of my property from me.Hoped I'd see him again, preferrably with my baseball bat, but this... seeing this is almost worth the $1400 he stole from me. Great way to prove to the world what an idiot you are, Ellie Mae...lololol What a dumb fck!! Enjoy your karma, Elvis... I know I am!!!!! Love, Laurie. lol. p.s.. my deepest sympathies to his wife. lol

Popular Posts