Thursday, January 31, 2008

Attention Arrrested Development Fans!

Jeffrey Tambor just announced on XM's Ron and Fez Show that an Arrested Development movie will happen!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Will Our Legislature Ever Do Some Real Work?

Every year, I hold on to a small glimmer of hope that our state legislature will actually do some meaningful work. Surely they’ll spend their time in Pierre drafting, debating, and passing important legislation that will enrich the lives of everybody who lives in this state.
As you might expect, every year I’m inevitably let down. Our governor lays down the law on what he wants, and it passes quickly with flying colors. The rest of the time is spent debating meaningless garbage such as the state’s official food/bird/whatever.
Still, I had some hope for this year. Surely this would be the year that our representatives would finally give some serious thought to issues such as school funding, water, and the controversial pipeline and oil refinery that may be built in the near future.
None of those issues have yet to be discussed in Pierre. Guess what is the topic that has so far been given the biggest priority? A code of ethics for lawmakers. Come on, this is almost comical.
Yes, we had a couple of controversial incidents last year. An oath of ethics would not have prevented either situation. Does anybody really believe that Ted Klaudt would have refrained from messing with those young women if this law had been passed?
Another wonderful bill would require all high school students to send at least one application letter to a “postsecondary educational institution”. Obviously, extending a student’s education is certainly recommended, but forcing students to apply? Come on, that’s ridiculous.
Even dumber is a new bill that Pat Powers’ Dakota War College blog calls “the absolute stupidest and most meaningless legislation of all time.” Senator Tom Katus has introduced Senate Bill 90, “an act to provide for voluntary limitations on campaign spending for legislative office.” A voluntary law?
The worst bill I’ve seen so far this year, though, comes from Sioux Falls’ very own Sandy Jerstad. This should be no surprise, as last year she was the voice behind the failed attempt to raise the car seat age to eight.
You may also recall that last year she was the person that was the most upset when Olivia’s opened a few miles west of Tea. I guess it should be no surprise that she would introduce a bill to regulate “naughty” retailers. Under her plan, any retailer selling anything that is vaguely classified as obscene will have to be licensed, and cannot be within 1000 feet of schools, playgrounds, parks, or pools, and cannot be within 250 feet of any street, and also cannot be open between midnight and 8 a.m., or on Sunday.
Quoting once again from Dakota War College, “Because of how her law is written, Jerstad wants to require licensure and all the setback limitations on Wal-mart (naughty underwear, movies, personal lubricants) , many drug stores (personal lubricants, magazines, etcetera.), video stores (racy movies, duh), convenience stores (Movies, magazines), Victoria’s Secret (naughty, naughty underwear), most bookstores (books), movie theatres (Movies), and the public library (books).”
Come on, Sandy. We get that you don’t like Olivia’s. Don’t go in the store if that’s the case, but once again I have to say that there’s no way you can possibly tell me that the existence of this store has had any negative impact on the Tea area. There’s no mobs of underage kids chasing each other with battery-operated sex gadgets; the high schools aren’t full of Lolita’s wearing crotch-less negligee. No parent has to explain to their toddlers what kind of store that is they’re passing on their way to the Empire Mall. Ok, maybe a few more adults may have, uh, “satisfied” smiles on their faces, but is that a bad thing?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Ipod Holiday Playlist Sample

A few months ago, Apple unveiled their new 160 gig Ipod. Of course, I had to have one. After two months of loading most of my archives to my new toy, I was finally ready to start using it. Here's a few songs it recently chose for me to hear.

Hey Writers - Please Come Back to Work!

Anybody who has ever paid any attention to me either on these pages or through my weekly appearance on KRRO knows that I have no life. I get up in the morning, drink some coffee, head to work, and then it’s back home to wait for bedtime. That’s it…although I keep waiting for a blog or radio groupie. Or at the very least an amateur stripper looking for an inside “position” to win the next Scarlett’s contest.
Until that happens, all I have to keep me company during the evening are a room full of CD’s, a couple of bookcases full of DVD’s, my computer, and my hi-def TV. Now one of these outlets is giving me little entertainment these days.
Nine weeks or so ago, the writers of the television and movie industries went on strike, and all hell has broken loose at my humble abode. I no longer have my Thursday night routine of My Name Is Earl, 30 Rock, and the Office. The Daily Show may have come back this past Monday evening, but it’s a shell of itself without their writing staff. And I’m also missing…well, I guess that’s about it as I can’t sit through the dozen different CSI’s or 24 or Lost or those extremely lame CBS comedies.
But my tastes aren’t the point here. TV has become worse and worse since the beginning of the strike, and there are no signs of it getting better anytime soon. Reality and game shows are taking over the majority of the prime time hours. Besides the return of American Idol, special seasons of Survivor and Big Brother are going to make my channel-surfing a nightmare. And let’s not even begin talking about the lack of talent involved in Flavor Flav and Bret Michael’s dating shows.
It’s not just old shows, either. Last Sunday, NBC threw away two hours of programming to a revamped American Gladiators, hosted by lame-ass Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali’s personality-deprived daughter. On Monday, ABC started a run of cheesy dance contests, while the CW is about to begin a Bachelor rip-off where a farmer tries to find love from a bunch of city girls. Oh, the hilarity that will ensue.
I beg you stupid entertainment companies to just settle with the writers. All they really want is a cut from internet airings of the shows they write. Yes, I know you claim there’s no money there. I don’t believe you, but if that’s true it’s clearly not always going to be the case or you wouldn’t even attempt to create an online presence.
Historically, this argument doesn’t fly. The last time the writer’s negotiated a deal with the studios, they stupidly allowed a reduced amount from video sales. At the time there wasn’t really any money in home video, as it was yet to become a business outside of selling to video rental stores. Who knew that the advent of the DVD would not only lead to people like me building a library of my favorite movies? Who in the world would have guessed that boxed set seasons of Saved By the Bell or Three’s Company would not only be available for sale but actually be purchased? If the public is dumb enough to buy that crap, the least you could do is compensate the people who wrote that drivel. God knows they’ve probably not had many gigs since then.
One more thing – screw you Jay Leno. You’ve been a scab since the beginning. Sure, by posing on the picket lines you acted like you were on the side of your staff at the beginning. Few people know that unlike the other multi-millionaire talk show hosts you weren’t covering your staff’s salaries. Now that you’re back your writers are conspiculously missing from the picket lines, and at least one former joke writer is claiming they’re secretly meeting at Leno’s home to write material. Of course, who could tell when you watch his lame show?