Get Out of Town - Martha Stewart and KELO-Land (Again)

Today is a special day. For the price of one get out of town, you’re going to get two victims.
We’ll start off on the national….hell, even the international front. The other day while driving to Kansas City, my travel companion mentioned that although she never before thought that Martha Stewart was cool, now that she’s a jailbird she’s way cool.
I must admit that I’ve never really given a lot of thought to this convicted felon. I’ve only stumbled upon her television show on one occasion, and quickly changed the channel after she gave a lesson on shoveling snow that included a tidbit about leaving a light coating on the sidewalk for a “festive look”. Obviously, she had no clue what she was talking about, so I never again paid her any attention.
Over the past few days, though, I have had no choice but to notice her. In the days leading up to her release from prison both the print and television media wasted plenty of time and space debating her future. This wasn’t just on the business news shows and publications; this happened everywhere – from Access Hollywood to Fox News; from Time to People.
But these stories were just a blip on the screen compared to the past five days. Her release from prison was covered live on seemingly every television channel. Her speech to her company’s employees was also simulcast everywhere. Screamaholics on the cable news channels shifted their focus from Robert Blake and Michael Jackson to Martha Stewart. Satellite trucks found a home in her front lawn, angling for a shot of her walking in front of her picture window.
The most ridiculous item I saw came from whatever silly show Deborah Norville is now hosting. To show us what house arrest is like, this bimbo put on one of those ankle bracelets and hung around her home all day. We got to see her cook, clean, and, what should have been most exciting, apply lotion to her supple legs. There was one main difference, though. Norville could take off the shackles at any time. Stewart can’t.
Not that Ms. Martha has it that tough. I wouldn’t mind spending five months in her palatial mansion, with servants, celebrities, business associates, and politicians constantly dropping by. Trust me, I know some people on house arrest, and their confinement is nothing like what Stewart is going through.
I must say, however, that I still don’t have much of an opinion of this person. I take issue at the media. They’re the ones turning this situation into a non-interrupted story. More troubling, they’re the ones who have transformed her from a not-so-friendly-but-rich bitch into Mother Theresa. It’s like they’ve all been hired to become her public relations firm. Has she really changed that much? I doubt it.
As long as I’m once again ranting about the media, I must turn my attention to the clowns who run the television station across the street from this studio. I’ve tried to ignore them like I’ve always ignored Ms. Stewart. After all, it has been at least three weeks since I’ve bitched about them.
But I must return to one of my oldest beefs about these idiots. Time after time I have ranted and raved about their overuse of the term “KELO-Land”. It’s one thing to use this as a marketing term, but their use of it in their actual newscast is pure evil. Hell, they can’t even define the boundaries of this term. Sometimes it’s only used for those in the Sioux Falls area; other times it extends to sexually-challenged Andy Harvey’s daily West River stories. And if somebody in a neighboring state gets some national notoriety, then suddenly they’re also one of their own.
For the most part, there’s no real harm in this practice. A few days ago, however, they went beyond what should be anybody’s sense of good taste. When three area residents were killed in incidents in Iraq, they were identified as “KELO-Land soldiers”. This is an insult to those soldiers, any other residents in the military, and every one of their family and friends. They are American soldiers, and I can’t believe a station that prides itself on it’s patriotism would put their marketing department ahead of the details of lives taken away in defense of our country.
Look, I’m the first to admit that in the eyes of most people I’m no super-patriot. I’m still firmly against the mess that this country’s administration has forced these men and women into, and I’m even angrier at how close-minded people on both sides of the fence are when it comes to any political issue.
But I have nothing but respect and love for those people who have left their jobs, family, and friends to travel halfway across the world to risk their lives in a country that doesn’t even want us. Reducing their tragic tales to fit their station’s advertising budget is something I would expect from Thune’s blogging buddies, not from the region’s number one rated television station. Until Colonel Jorgensen, Sgt. Kenneckee, Head Nurse Whitney Beam, and Private Beavis form their own army they must refrain from addressing military personnel as KELO-Land residents. Wait a second, KELO forming their own army? I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet. Or has it?


Popular Posts