Get Outta Town November 12

(November 12) I’ve got a lot to bitch about today, so I’m not going to waste any time with some cutesy introduction. This week features a grab bag of locals and nationals that deserve a giant kick in the ass.
First off, I must start with a group of people that I’ve complained about in the past. They don’t seem to get the hint, so I must reboot. Please keep in mind that I have nothing against people that still support Congressman Wild Bill. You need friends in times of trouble, and Bill is certainly facing a few bad days in the next few months.
Sometimes loyalty stretches credibility, and a few recent letters to the daily paper are simply incredulous. A number of people have actually came out and placed the blame on the victim, saying that Randy Scott is actually the cause of the accident. After all, he was the one who struck Janklow’s vehicle…at a so-called high speed.
What exactly did Randy Scott do wrong? He was driving the speed limit on a state highway. It wasn’t Mr. Scott who blasted through a stop sign at a speed estimated to be around ten miles above the posted limits. One letter actually stated that if Mr. Scott had taken a few seconds to put on a helmet then the accident wouldn’t have even happened. What is wrong with these people?
Using this logic, I could barrel through 41st Street from a side street without worry. If a car was to hit me, it would have to be their fault, right? I don’t think so.
While we’re on the subject, it’s also time for Wild Bill to just shut up and wait for his day in court. His behavior last week at the daily paper was, while typical for the man, horrendously offensive. In his twisted, narcissistic mind, the so-called liberal media has it out for him. They’ll do anything to take him down, which is why the paper has reported so many “negative” stories on the man. He’s even had his people investigate the backgrounds of those writing letters to the editor.
I guess we’re back in Nazi Germany, where a negative word about government officials is a crime. Yes, the majority of letter writers against Janklow is bound to be from registered Democrats, just as the majority of favorable letters has to be from Republicans. That is the current state of political discussion. But I’ll bet there has been a few anti-Janklow letters from Republicans, along with a few pro-Janklow letters from Democrats. We are, after all, a reasonably open-minded state. Or at least I thought we were.
As long as we’re talking about the so-called liberal media, I have further proof that it’s nothing more than a myth. CBS’ gutless move to shelve the Ronald Reagan miniseries is more evidence that the conservatives actually run the airwaves.
I would never watch this show; I don’t watch any network miniseries’. But I respect the right of the networks to put on this garbage…although in a few minutes I will have some comments against a couple of shows that were on this past weekend. Les Moonves’ ass-kissing of Bill O’Reilly and other self-important media censors has not only made CBS the laughing stock of the industry but has also set a dangerous precedent for future provocative programming.
Before you toss me into the stereotype of a “liberal”, which I really am not, please keep in mind that nobody that was bitching about the show had even seen the program. Nobody had. One must remember, however, that before any script is put into production the suits pour through it to determine if there is any libelous material. The lawyers gave the production, which was based on a 1991 book, a thumbs up and nobody seemed to care until a couple of blowhards, who wouldn’t be happy with anything short of a gushing portrayal, started whining.
CBS should have just given these morons the middle finger and broadcast the show. It really wouldn’t have mattered. Nobody changes their opinions based on a miniseries. Those who love Reagan would have still had a woody for the man; those that despise him would still hate him.
CBS unfortunately did air the Elizabeth Smart story the other night, head to head against NBC’s fictional account of Jessica Lynch. Now these are two shows that should have been censored. Lynch can’t remember anything about her ordeal (oh yeah, now she claims she does since there’s a book to profit from), and there are disagreements over the government’s account of the story, but that didn’t stop NBC.
I don’t have as much of a problem with Lynch’s story, though, as I do with the parents of Elizabeth Smart. While I do feel for what the family went through, and I am as happy as anybody else that she safely returned to her family, I blame her parents for whoring out her story. They didn’t need to write a book; they didn’t need to peddle the poor girl like a sheepdog onto Oprah, Katie Couric, and those cows on The View. Be happy that your little girl is home, and retreat into private life.
The private life that I am excited about, however, is little Paris Hilton, the star of the hottest download since Pam Anderson went boating with Tommy “Bigboy” Lee. Last night I found five minutes of the tape, and it is a beautiful sight…except for the night vision camera that makes both participants look a little like creatures from the X-Files. A handful of positions and a little bit of oral find Ms. Hilton finally showcasing a talent. She’s no longer famous for being famous; she’s a porn star!
Yet I still must place Mr. and Mrs. Hilton on my hit list. They’ve been all over the press complaining that their precious little girl was drugged to a state where she was almost comatose. Trust me, the girl was wide awake, preening for the camera and searching for the perfect angle to showcase that luscious little body. She even took a time-out to answer her cell phone. She knew what she was doing, and if the Hilton parents had raised their daughters a little better she wouldn’t be in this current predicament.
Finally, no tale of family wealth is not complete without a commentary about MTV’s new series, Rich Girls. I never in my wildest dreams thought there could be not one but two young women even more stupid than Jessica Simpson. But these twits, one of whom is the offspring of Tommy Hilfiger, make Jessica and Paris look like brain surgeons…and neither have looks to fall back on. Truthfully, they’re butt ugly. I sat through one episode, which dealt with a shopping spree for their prom. As they’re about to visit one exclusive boutique, one girl states with a straight face that clothes should be free as they’re “a necessity”. The following week, the same person states that in a past life she could have been either Benjamin Franklin, who “discovered the light bulb”, or Muhammad Ali, who is thankfully still alive.
It’s an old bitch, but I’ll revive it one more time. Maybe it’s time that MTV actually shows broadcasts some music…and not the same Pink, Beyonce and 50 Cent videos that somehow finds airspace. We don’t need Punk’d, that dating show where snoop into the bedrooms of potential dates, the cheerleading school show, or any of those pseudo-documentaries that somehow turn geeks into homecoming queens or basketball stars.
Unfortunately, it’s time for me to wrap up this week’s segment. I haven’t even started on a few of my planned topics, such as this year’s awful episodes of Saturday Night Live; the inept announcing of Joe Theismann, or the horror story named Clay Aiken. There’s always next week.


Popular Posts