Once Again, My Life Stinks!

Let’s just cut to the chase this morning – I’m kicking myself out of town. Yes, you’ve all heard me whine week after week about how awful my life is. Well, let me tell you about the past seven days.
The nightmare began last Wednesday evening. Needing some gas and a wash, I took a different route than normal for my journey home. I was heading east on 26th Street when the light turned red on Cleveland Avenue. Glancing out my back window, I noticed a car not adequately slowing down. Seconds later, he slammed into the back of Jenna the Jeep.
Luckily (for me, at least), the spare tire absorbed the majority of the hit, leaving the silly little high school kid’s Grand Am with the majority of the damage. The spare was punctured, and the back bumper was scraped. Of course, I could not find my proof of insurance when the police arrived, but a quick call to my son resulted in enough proof for the kind officer to tear up my ticket.
Skip ahead to Saturday. My son went to his mother’s house for the weekend, and I had a relaxing day and evening planned. I packed up my computer bad chock full of electronic toys – besides my computer I had one of my Ipods, a dozen or so new releases that needed to be loaded, and my webcam. The plan was to spend the day at Black Sheep, followed by a few drinks at a local bar where my friend Theresa was starting a new job that night.
The plan deteriorated within minutes. Scoping out the electric outlet situation, I concluded that I needed to move a table over to the other side of the room. While making that move, I heard some noise. Turning around, I discovered that my computer bag had tipped over. Because the bag was padded, I thought little of the problem.
I should have known that nothing could go easy for me. Pulling the computer out of the bag, I immediately noticed a piece of the casing out of place. I snapped it into place, and proceeded to fire it up. Bad idea. The bag obviously fell at just the precise angle to completely screw up the computer. The connection between the base and screen was screwed up, and while it would power up nothing would come on the screen. Thank you, God.
I loaded everything back up and headed to a certain giant retailer. Of course, I didn’t own the right warranty for the situation. Sending the computer just to check the problem would take at least three weeks. Geek-boy Hudson without a computer for three weeks? Uh, no. The nice kid did say that in his opinion this would be a labor-intensive fix, and wouldn’t surprise him if it cost at least five hundred bucks.
Obviously, the decision was immediately made to purchase a new computer. The only problem was that the entire store was empty of any worthwhile laptops. The “Back to School” promotion was a month old, yet nobody had bothered to do any restocking. The kid helping me out did say a shipment was coming in on Monday, so I made plans to come back on Tuesday morning.
Tuesday also did not start off well. As I was heading off to work, I felt something wet on my feet right before I put on my shoes. My mother-effing dog had peed. Shuffling back to my room for clean socks, I discovered that he had actually peed twice. Pissed off, I attempted to give the mutt a swift kick…and pulled a hamstring. I’m still limping.
But some good news was coming. I made it back to the retailer, and my laptop had arrived. And what a beauty it is. Two gigs of memory, a 160 gig hard-drive. Simply put, a great machine. I brought in my broke-down piece of garbage to have as much stuff as possible copied over, and I was to come back later in the day to pick it up.
Yet my bad luck was not finished. My old computer had almost a hundred gigs of bootleg concerts and movies, along with tons of photos I had taken at concerts and other events. None of these were transferred. I lost almost all of my supposedly transferable files, including every article I’d written for Etc, Prime, and this silly little radio segment. The only things that were transferred were my desktop items, and a handful of internet links.
As you can see, this past week was the week from hell. And this entire narrative doesn’t even include my everyday headaches – my lack of sleep, my issues at work, my boredom at home, not to mention the fact that I’m short, fat, and have a face made for radio. I stink.