Dancing Tax Preparers Need to Disappear!

Since I get to look at hot, young amateur strippers tonight, It’s hard for me to get too fired up about anything else. Visions of nearly naked booty and other body parts is probably the only thing that can make me forget about my awful, empty life.
I have a job to do, though, so here’s something short and sweet. It’s actually a replay of a bitch I seem to have every year around this same time. Since the people I’m referring to refuse to do the right thing, I have to babble about them once again.
If you drive down four of our busiest streets in town – 10th, 12th, 41st, and Minnesota – you’ve undoubtedly seen the most ridiculous sight one can possibly imagine. In the bitter cold, and it’s been worse than most years, there are morons stationed outside of a tax preparer’s franchises attempting to grab our attention.
One of these halfwits does this awful little break dance routine. What is it, 1989? He twirls around, does a James Brown little knee bend, and prances around like a complete lunatic.
Another person is out on the street with a Guitar Hero controller. It’s not hooked up to anything, so it’s this bizarreland air guitar routine. I don’t get it. Well, I don’t get any of it.
The other locations are a bit more low key – silly people standing outside in dumb costumes. One regular employee dresses as the Statue of Liberty. There’s also an oversize Miss Liberty costume that for the most part seems to not be occupied by a person.
Please, make it stop. You look ridiculous, and there’s no way this is actually helping your business. Income tax is serious stuff. Would you really trust your finances with a company that doesn’t take themselves seriously?
Plus, the awful drivers of this city don’t need any more distractions. Besides local drivers, I’m scared to death of anybody with license plates from Iowa or Lincoln County (44). If it’s not terrible driving skills, then it’s cell phones that cause people to swerve from lane to lane, make sudden turns, or not notice that the light has turned red as they’re heading towards the back of your car. The last thing they need is some dancing fool that makes them point and laugh.
I’m begging you people – please pull these people off their posts and give them some real work to do. I’m sure you’ve got some cleaning or sweeping they can do. Just don’t put them to work doing my taxes. Anybody who would do the “Hammer-time” dance is not qualified to file my return.


Anonymous said…
We recently have been blessed with a Liberty Tax Service in Yankton, too. Our guy can't dance. He looks more like Skippy.
OMG Scott, I'm SO with you on this.

Hey, have fun tonight and try to restrain yourself... ;-)

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