Goodbye Chelsia
Three months or so ago, one of my online buddies approached me with an interesting idea. Being the webmaster at a number of reality TV sites, he had an idea for a blog to capture news, opinions, and rumors surrounding season 9 of Big Brother. Since I have no life, and love to babble my silly thoughts, I jumped at this chance.
I went into this project with realistically low expectations. I figured there would be the usual mix of cretins – a couple of hotties with no personalities, a pretty boy or two who would do nothing but wander about with no shirt, the token gay guy who thinks he represents all gays, a geek who thinks he knows everything, and a single mom or two to make the housewives weep at their sob story.
The beginning of the first episode seemed to bear out these reality television clichés. Bimbos? Check. Himbos? Check. Gay guy? Of course. Each person that was introduced seemed to come straight from reality casting.
Then I saw the woman who changed my TV life…or at least my winter TV viewing. The moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was going to be special. Sprorting flawless skin, a hipster haircut, and a smoking little body, I immediately knew I’d be paying special attention to this gorgeous creature.
Her name was Chelsia Hart, and if I use the standards of my “pals” at KELO, she actually resides in “Hudsonland”. Ok, she’s from Cedar Falls, but if they can file a report from Nebraska and call the subject a “KELO-Land” resident, then Chelsia’s hometown clearly fits my geographic boundaries.
Ok, so at 21 she’s a bit young for this chubby old dude. But, get this – she loves older guys! And dive bars! And loud music! Plus she describes herself as a “party girl”! Can it get any better?
Her activities in the house certainly fit the party girl description. She immediately hooked up with James, the Mohawk-ed punk rock bicyclist (who has a dirty little secret involving a video camera and another male), and has spent the majority of her time in the house in a little bikini. One drunken night, Chelsia and another female in the house ended up doing a strip show that culminated with almost everybody making out with each other in the pool.
So why am I talking about my dream girl in a segment usually devoted to me whining about politicians and other cretins? Well, in about twelve hours the dream will be over. Earlier this week, an uneducated, born-again, former stripper with two abortions to her name convinced this week’s Head of Household, Adam, to nominate her and James for eviction. James was able to save himself, so it’s inevitable that my girl Chelsia will be leaving the house, and the show, on tonight’s episode.
It’s a sad, sad day for me. How am I supposed to carry on watching not only the CBS broadcasts but 24-hour live feeds without being able to see the beautiful and talented Chelsia? How am I going to continue to endure the screeching voices of the remaining bimbos? Well, I’m a trooper, I guess, so I’ll carry on with my duties. But I miss her already.
Comments
Do you need a hug, man?
While you and the Argus were asleep, City Council candidate Theresa Stehly mailed out thousands of flyers that resembled USA Today newspapers. She also had a photo on the front page of this fake newspaper with a city employee seemingly endorsing Stehly. Stehly told the employee it was ok because the photo was for her scrape book. More false information found in the fake newspaper also. Maybe this corrupt politican will fix the roads for you. Which reminds me - I need to educate you on that story.
I think I need to educate you a bit on what my site is all about. I've never claimed that this is a serious political blog. Yes, politics is discussed at times, but it's one of many topics.
I babble about many things, from serious issues to frivolous garbage. This Chelsia post certainly fits the "frivolous" criteria. But because I was hired to write about Big Brother, it is certainly in the realm of what fits on this page. If this truly bothers you, I'd suggest you find other sites to bother.
Again, don't lump me in with the Argus. I know that because I don't fill page after page of anti-Herseth opinions you think I'm in cahoots with them, but you couldn't be farther from the truth.
As for Brown versus Stehly, at this point I'm undecided. I'm troubled by this USA Today incident, but I'm also not 100% behind some of Vernon's moves. Maybe you could help me out with this decision.
I read the Chelsea post again but did not catch the name of the BB site you go to. Care to reveal?
RE: Theresa VS Vern, I cannot WAIT to go vote today. I love it when the heads roll.
"If this truly bothers you, I'd suggest you find other sites to bother."
OR...if my Argus editorial bothers you...lol. That's ok you'd never understand. Your blog really doesn't bother me, since it's typical of your generation. While Rome burns blog about a bimbo. Nothing new - "Frivolous" with hypocritic standards is amusing, if not pathetic.
Regards to:
"RE: Theresa VS Vern, I cannot WAIT to go vote today. I love it when the heads roll."
Another lost gen Xer no doubt.
Kurt
PS The city doesn't fix pot holes when the temp changes from hot to cold every other day. The pot holes would just have to be repaired again during the summer due to temp changes. The mayor told me there's going to be plenty of money for pot hole repair, so don't wet your pants. Drive slower, turn off the cell and watch the road.
Kurt
PS. Loved what your friend Obama said about bitter blue collar workers. McCain and the Republicans can take the multiple controversial comments from that speech and beat the entire Democratic Party over the head with it for the next ten years. Lets ask your congresswoman about these views.
In fact, throw in Obama.
I forgot, if I don't ramble on every day about a person that means I'm a supporter.
"But if one is to publicly complain about a public official, one cannot bend the rules to create an impression that there’s a bigger groundswell of discontent then there really is."
(This applies to the mayor too?)
"But why would I pay any attention to hateful, yet generally poorly-written, name-calling..."
"When I say I was hired to write about Big Brother, I'm not talking about on this page."
Whatever..
Kurt
"It’s pretty easy to attack others when there’s no opportunity to fight back."
This was your defense of Stephanie Herseth-Weasel. And out of all the critical comments that were put into print in the Argus, she was unable to respond to them!? Really? What prevented her from responding to critical editorials? I'm just trying to understand you reasoning here. Example: If credit card holders are stuggling to pay their newly increased minimum payments, why can't Steph address the reason why she voted for the minimum payment increase? Isn't it ironic Scott, that on the same week that we saw Congressional investigations into credit card scams, your poor Stephanie still (can't?) address my critical editorials? It must be that Al Gore 'you have to stand up and look me in the eyes before I'll respond' rule that prevents Steph from responding to critical editorials.