(July 23) This week’s victim is someone who actually moved out of town quite a few years ago. But he still occasionally makes appearances in Sioux Falls, slumming it with the common folk at Theo’s, Champps, and the Crow Bar.
He’s also someone that I have referred to many times before, but never actually kicked out of town. Well, this week I have to do it…so this week’s victim is Pat O’Brien.
I’m actually sort of sorry that I have to do this. At one time I had some respect for the man. His work for CBS Sports was very good, or at least as good as anyone else on the network.
But he sold his soul to the devil a few years ago, taking an anchor gig for the dreadful Access Hollywood. We all know my thoughts on those so-called “entertainment news” programs – there’s nothing that ever resembles news on these shows. They’re nothing more than pre-packaged publicity for the most trite pseudo-celebrities that plague our entertainment choices.
Hosting the show is bad enough, but in recent years he has started to believe his own hype. He counts morons such as P. Diddy and Will Smith as friends, and makes sure that we all know they hang together.
The topper, though, is the oral sex…I mean interview…that he recently conducted with the world’s worst couple, J-Ho and Ben Affleck. Not only did snippets of this conversation take up his awful show for a few days, but an expanded version was shown as a prime-time special, and NBC and MSNBC also ran segments for an entire week.
The fact that he interviewed these ass-clowns is bad enough, but the actual interview was even worse than anyone could imagine. It started off with a lengthy segment that attempted to compare their so-called romance to the great Hollywood romances of the past – Hepburn and Tracy, Burton and Taylor, etc. Sorry, but nobody is going to ever compare the acting skills of either of these bozos to these legends.
Then the rest of the hour was spent trying to convince us that J-Ho really is just Jenny From the Block, and that Ben is just a typical “bro” from Boston. Softball after softball, with the hardest hitting question being “are you a diva, Jen?” No, she’s just a typical hard-working girl. Yeah, and I’m Mr. Positivity.
And to prove how down to earth she is, Ms. Lip-synch even cooked a meal for the crew. Like she’s ever set foot into a kitchen before. Well, we know she’s eaten a few meals in her life, but there’s no way she’s ever cooked before. I’d bet that the Queen usually sits on her throne and barks at her crew to hurry up with her fried chicken and bon bons.
It’s pretty telling that even with Mr. O’Brien’s assistance, the pair still came off as the most shallow, phoniest, most idiotic couple since Bruce and Demi.
And the reason this whole charade even happened is because that movie that features the pair is said to be one of the worst movies offered up in some time. Test reviews have been dismal; reviewers predict that this could be THE BOMB of the year…and in a horrible year for movies that’s saying something.
And it’s also a chance for J-Ho to change her image. Reports have run wild in recent months over her bitchy demeanor; her on-set demands; her quickly failing singing career. And yes, it is failing. Despite constant MTV and radio airplay, her last album sold a fraction of her previous, and it’s become common knowledge that Ashanti handled most of the vocals on all of her albums.
So Pat, this rant may have been more about Hollywood’s worst couple, but you’re guilty by association…not only with these morons but anyone else that you fawn over on that awful show you host.


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