Idol, Imus, and Other Garbage

As everybody knows, I absolutely despise American Idol. It’s nothing but pure evil. It’s everything that’s wrong with the music business in a one hour show. The fact that a well-known lip-syncher is a vocal judge is reason enough for me, and anybody who seriously follows music, to avoid this show at all costs.
Yet one can’t escape the hype. USA Today has article after article; Entertainment Weekly wastes many pages on this garbage; any other show on Fox features promo after promo hyping how every year or week is the most dramatic ever. Is it? Is it really?
For the good of my readers, though, once a year I put myself through an hour of hell. So last night I poured myself a Windsor/Coke and skipped a brand new episode of Dog, the Bounty Hunter to sit though the longest sixty minutes of my life.
Oh wait, there’s good news! I thought this silly show was on at 8. It actually just ended! Hahahahahahahaha! There is a God after all!
But what am I going to talk about now? I could carry on with the Don Imus situation, but that story is pretty much over now that those gutless bastards at CBS joined MSNBC in firing him from his gig.
I do still have a couple of things to say about this situation, though. I have to call “bravo sierra” on the claims from the players that they were devastated by the words used by Imus. B.S. I guarantee that not only have none of those players ever heard of this crotchety old man, but they hear worse words on a daily basis from friends, lovers, and the CD’s they probably play in the locker room. Once again quoting comedian Patrice O’Neal, their actual response was probably more on the lines of, “oh no he din’t”.
A word of warning to those who enjoy hip-hop – they’re next. Both Sharpton and Jackson promised that they are not finished with their efforts to stop free speech. They’re targeting rap music next, along with anybody else who doesn’t meet the politically-correct standards that they’ve decided everybody should follow. Yet tape after tape of Sharpton’s own unique form of racist hate speech has turned up in recent days.
Enough of that crap. I also gave some thought to yet another attack on our fumbling Mayor. He’s made news once again for turning down an offer of acres of free land to be used for a new arena. I’m not going to once again state the reasons why it’s ludicrous for our city to build something so big, but if it has to be built downtown is just not the place for one. There’s not enough parking and the streets are not wide enough or equipped to handle a few thousand more vehicles.
Yes, it would look fantastic downtown, but you don’t build such a building based only on aesthetics. Placing such a facility where two interstates meet seems to be obvious…but wouldn’t make the mayor’s back-pocket friends any extra cash.
Instead, I’m giving myself the boot once again. I should have been in Vegas this past weekend. I had 7th row seats to see a comedy festival hosted by Opie and Anthony, and starring Jim Norton, Joe Rogan, Louis C.K., Frank Caliendo, Bob Kelly, Patrice O’Neal, and Rich Vos.
After spending the $300 bucks on tickets, I discovered that my total cost of such a trip would probably be close to two grand. With my son’s upcoming birthday and graduation, I decided that this just wasn’t going to work out.
Yet all weekend long I had to endure watching my online fans hang out with the stars while I sat at home nursing a few glasses of whiskey. I stink.
The good news is that at a press conference earlier that day, the radio hosts announced future dates for the tour later this summer on the east coast. Yes, your chubby friend will not only leave his home but will even do some traveling this summer.


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