Lora Hubbel, Get Out of Town!

With Mayor Munson's announcement that he won’t seek a second term as Mayor, it seems like everybody and their dog has announced plans to take his seat. Really, I wouldn’t be surprised if a dog actually entered the race. Hey, that’s not a bad idea. My dog occasionally gets mail; maybe I should fill out the paperwork and get Sam on the ballot. Think of the fun I’d have!
Every day, I check the website for our local television stations and the daily paper to see who is the latest clown prince or princess destined to lose to either Darrin Smith or Vernon Brown. For a fleeting moment this past Saturday, I actually had a moment or two of optimism. These euphoric thoughts lasted little more than a moment or two, however.
Articles on new candidate Lora Hubbel began strong. She’s against cronyism and sweetheart deals. Her emphasis would be on the streets and insuring we have a sufficient water supply. She’s also not in favor of the deal that was finalized this past week for the Zip Feed property. Sounds like a perfect candidate for the King of Hudsonland to support!
Unfortunately, the articles didn’t stop with those paragraphs. Reading on, she thinks we need to put restrictions on check cashing businesses. While I agree with this idea, that’s a state legislative issue, so there’s little she could do about this issue.
She also believes that the city should construct giant radiation shelters just in case terrorists decide that striking Sioux Falls would be beneficial to their plans to destroy our country. Uh, ok. I think we’re starting to see which side of the fence she’s sitting on. It’s not just on the right side, it’s way, way out past the right field foul lines.
She’s not done, though. Her biggest claim to fame…or infamy…is her desire to crack down on pornography in Sioux Falls. “Most people don’t realize there is a problem with that in Sioux Falls”, she was quoted as saying. “I think there is.”
There is? Really? Where? I’m serious, where? I need to know.
Pornography is not a problem in Sioux Falls. Considering the size of our community, there are few businesses that can even loosely be described as dealing with anything with adult content. There’s one strip club in town, and it’s been here for years. Aberdeen, a city one quarter the size of ours, has a handful of such facilities. The only video store that rents or sells adult videos has downsized in recent years from five locations to two. Prostitution remains an occasional isolated incident, and our local publications have none of the escort ads that make for quality reading in other cities.
Ok, the number of “toy stores” has actually doubled in recent years…from one to two. That’s obviously what this twit is referring to; an adult novelty shop that opened last spring. I remember the fake controversy that…uh, erupted…when news of this business came to light. We were headed to Armageddon. Children that lived in trailer courts six blocks away would no longer be able to play on Benson Road. The truck repair shops and other blue collar businesses that make up that part of town would be overrun by child molesters and rapists.
Guess what? The retailer opened and the sky didn’t fall. To this day, few people even realize that the store in question even exists. Children can still run in and out of the 45 mph traffic. There are no hookers and drug addicts roaming the neighboring streets.
The question remains, however, are the products they sell pornographic? I say no. The items that make up the bulk of their inventory are called marital aids. Yes, even Christians have sex. (Actually, the most hardcore Christians I’ve met over the years are easily the freakiest people I know.) Isn’t a safe and healthy sex life one of the main tenements of a healthy marriage? More power to a couple who utilizes massage oil or vibrating toys to bring them closer together.
Ms. Hubbel, you have a few good ideas, but your desire (and others of your ilk in the state legislature) to remake this country into a 50’s-ish Leave It to Beaver society is frightening. If sex to you is just missionary position for procreation purposes only, I say more power to you. What others do in their bedroom is none of your business. If toy stores and strip clubs go against your beliefs, then I just have one piece of advice for you – stay away. I refuse to enter Wal-Mart because they offend me; I expect others to do the same with businesses that go against their principles.


apple said…
"Sweetheart deals" ... that's funny. Even funnier because that's where I work.
Anonymous said…
She is a complete nut case, maybe others will see that now. If she is elected things with go to hell. Good luck sioux falls.

Popular Posts