Scott Ehrisman's State of the City Address

Should He Run For Mayor? I agree with almost all of his points.

'We need an idea man for mayor'
Scott Ehrisman

I've heard the campaign promises of the dozen or so Sioux Falls mayoral candidates and frankly none of them are worth a fart. I have lived in South Dakota almost my whole life (I'm 33) and I can attest to one thing, we are short on progressive thinkers, just look at the cesspool of candidates. Besides the usual promises of FREE drinking water and back massages, very few of them have offered much more then what our current criminal in city hall would have offered. So what's the point of running if you aren't going to send something new our way? In Mitch Richter's case, It's something to do besides making chicken strip baskets.

I've been encouraged by a few people (2 to be exact) to put my name in the hat. That's not going to happen, unless I can get one of Leslee Unruh's ANONYMouS donors to give me a million to run. Here's a couple of reasons why I will not be running: I have no idea what the balance is in my checking account let alone the city budget (Munson had a problem with this one to). I hardly can take care of my dog let alone hundreds of city employees (and trust me, if you have to encounter any of these yahoos, it takes a lot of care and understanding to guide these people). I can't tie a tie, or own one, but am pretty good with the hair gel (thank you very much Darrin Smith). And lastly, I hang out at Scarlett's and the Top Hat too much (I guess Kevin Kavanaugh likes the drinky to).

I am however an idea person (especially after about 3 vodka tonics) and I want to pass a few of these on to the numbskulls that are running right now.

1) Though this was originally Hanson's idea, I think we should pursue an East/West route between Kiwanis and Louise at about 26th or 22nd street. My idea differs from Hanson's though and in the end would actually create revenue for the city and the state. Once we've booted out the Country Clubbers (give Prairie Green to Minnehaha CC and a little cash on the side) We can build the road, but I wouldn't open the land to development. I would make the course into a State/City Park available for camping. The Country Clubbers claim that the land is a Audobon reserve, so what a beautiful place for a campground, hiking and biking trails! On top of that it would probably be one of the most used Parks in the state, being less than a mile from the Empire Mall. I would also leave space open for expansion of other roadways such as 18th street and possibly 33rd. We could also use the existing buildings at the club for public picnics, showers and restrooms (besides we need some new places where gay men can meet up for stranger-anal-ranger sex). I'm a big supporter of refurbishing buildings which brings me to number 2.

2) We need to cut back on new construction permits and give out more for remodeling and refurbishing. Helping to save our current infastructure should be number one priority in a city of our size. The failed sewer systems were a testament to this, that our planning department conveniently blamed on God. We should be fixing up the older neighborhoods in Sioux Falls by increasing community development loans and grants and stop building cracker jack boxes in cornfields.

3) We need to pass a city ordinance that makes contractors accountable for cost overruns. If a mechanic tells me it will cost $200 to fix my car, when I pick it up, it better be $200 not $400. I think the contractors in SF who are winning these bids are laughing all the way to the bank. This needs to end before Halliburton shows up to town to start building streets.

4) While we are on the topic of ordinances, elected officials need to be punished when they break them - that means you Munson, and we need to pass a new one that doesn't allow people to sit on city council when they have gross conflicts of interest - this means you De Knudson.

5) Banish all TIFS (tax free zones) if I have to pay property taxes on my house, Jeff the Streaker has to pay them on his big-ass insurance building on the river.

6) Free parking downtown. This one is a freaking no brainer! Tear out the parking meters and stop closing streets downtown - this helps development!

7) Don't build an events center downtown, Hell don't build one at all. We can refurbish/expand the Arena in Sections while still using the facility. And as for parking, I may not be an engineer, but I'm sure we can build parking ramps next to the facility in the current parking lot.

8) While were on blowing money for things we really don't need, I want to talk about 2 problems we have that can be fixed with one solution. Of course I'm talking about the Zoo and the Kirby Science center. Sell the Zoo animals (except the flamingos-we can donate them to Touchez). Close the Zoo. (people ususally drive 2 1/2 hours to the south to see a real one in Omaha) Sell the property. Move the Delbridge (dead animal) museum to the Kirby Science center.

9) And lastly - arts funding. This one is a big turd no one likes to talk about! I think if as taxpayers we are going to fund SEAC and the Pavilion, some of the money should go to actual artists in our community. Require these orgs to give 50% of the city's gift as direct payment to artists who do work for the organization. If they refuse - cut off funding.

I doubt any of the A-holes running read this. Vernon Brown is probably busy drawing up his contract with SDN communications (his current employer) for his 311 number idea and I'm sure Lora Hubbel is busy looking for porn surfers on the internets (maybe you should check the planning office at city hall, Don is the name, kiddy porn is the game).

It just goes to show the most qualified candidates are too busy masturbating to give a rip. Good Luck Sioux Falls.


scottrngr said…
great post. i wonder if vernon brown has to report the free advertising he gets from voicing sdn commercials as campain income or not?
Anonymous said…
I would vote for you, and so would BOTH of my friends!

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