Just Say No to "Vikingland"

I know it may be hard to believe, but I actually have a friend or two. Shocking, I know.
One of these friends shares similar opinions regarding music, politics, and the awfulness of the local TV stations. In fact, he occasionally assists me in preparing this weekly segment. If something ridiculous happens on the news, whoever witnesses the travesty generally calls the other to report it.
This past Friday, the 10:00 broadcast had not officially began when I got up to grab the phone. I was beaten to the punch, though, as my phone rang halfway through my treacherous five foot walk.
The reason for our shared laughter and tears? The promo for KELO’s broadcast, which was to feature a segment on “Vikingland”.
I’ve got nothing against the Minnesota Vikings moving their summer camp to Sioux Falls. This time around, the streamlined proposal isn’t going to steal money away from our school system, and while I still have problems with Sioux Valley throwing their money around I’ve learned to accept the fact that five dollar band-aids are paying for scoreboards all across the area.
But “Vikngland”? Oh, hell no. This proposal cannot be hijacked by my buddies across the street. Plus, it raises a few questions regarding borders and citizenship. Will Vikingland be its own sovereign nation? Will it be a colony or township? KELO-Land needs to establish their own real borders before they even contemplate establishing another community. After all, sometimes KELO-Land includes parts of Nebraska, North Dakota, Minnesota, and Wyoming – at least it does when it’s a story involving positive stories or “fallen soldiers”. (By the way, it’s pure evil, if not treasonous, when they describe a person as a “KELO-Land soldier”.) At the very least, they’ll have to hire an actual sports reporter or two, or we’ll be stuck with Perry Groten’s awful clich├ęs.
After sitting through the lengthy promo…I mean story, I wondered how the other stations were handling the story. Was KDLT and KSFY using the term “Vikingland”? A web search found no evidence that either station had even filed a report on the proposal. How did KELO get the exclusive? Was there a deal with Sioux Valley’s Kelby Krabbenhoft? We all know of the hospital’s “unholy” alliance with the station – there must be some reason that Jane Andrews is still reporting on that obese guy from Nebraska and every new drug invented for “seniors”.
Let’s be real – it’s highly unlikely that the team will move their training camp to Sioux Falls. The ‘Queens are still fighting to get a new stadium built, so I doubt that they want to ruffle any more feathers than they already have in recent years. If they decide to come, though, more power to them. At least the groupies will have some real pro athletes with real pro money to father their babies. Maybe one or two of them will even end up on Maury searching for their baby-daddy. Won’t that be a great promo for the moral climate of “Vikingland”?

Comments

Anonymous said…
forget about building an events center, why dont munson, kelby, and rounds think really big, and build a new retractable roof stadium and get an nfl team to move here for good!
Anonymous said…
Sorry to burst your blog bubble, Scott. The obese guy from Nebraska was treated at McKennan, not Sioux Valley and the "Vikingland" idea came from the training camp committee, not KELO. Contrary to the common theme here, KELO is not the root of all evil.
Scott said…
The term "Vikingland" originated with the first training camp committee, which included KELO's then-g.m. Mark Antonitis. You can't tell me that he didn't have something to do with coining the phrase. I hated it then and I hate it now...and I can assure you that the other stations don't like it either.

As for the obese guy, maybe I did use a bad example but there are thousands of other SV-related stories I could have used...or the half hour infomercials disguised as Health Beat specials sponsored by SV.

KELO is evil; you'll never convince me otherwise. With their ratings, cash flow and available technology they could be an extremely innovative station. Instead, their quality of reporting doesn't even match KDLT's...and that's saying something.

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